I always wanted to be beautiful. Beautiful, elegant and sexy. After all, I am as human as the next girl, right? I don’t take myself too seriously so I am never all that beautiful, or elegant… much less sexy! I never have my nails done, of my hair for the case. But sometimes I really try to be all those things!
All my life I’ve been called cute, which is not bad. My family thinks I’m cute, my mom sees me cute, my husband sees me cute, friends, people I’ve met over internet. Always the “Aww, you are so cute!!!” “Oh! I like that photo! You look cute!” Not bad… but still sometimes frustrating, because it is never beautiful. And though I do not want everybody thinking I’m sexy, sometimes I really put a lot of effort into clothes, and makeup and stuff for my husband and he would tell me “I really liked the way you did your make up yesterday, it looked so cute!” dagnabbit! (to be honest, after I complained a couple of times he now does reassure me saying I am beautiful and sexy too, God bless him!)
Bear with me, this post goes into art.
A few days back, when Ellen Million was holding the monthly sketchfest (incidentally, if you have not done it, it is great fun!) one of the props was “you in the fantasy world” I thought to myself “Oh, that one is easy, I’ll draw the Faerywitch”. Since I was short for time, as usual, this was a great prop, I can do the Faerywitch, my alter ego, in no time 🙂 And this is what I drew:
All of the sudden it hit me! Complete and absolutely cute! Cute, cute, cute! and what did I write in the description? “Much cuter than in real life”
So I finally am given the opportunity to represent myself however I would want! Did I draw sexy? Nope, Beautiful and elegant? No! I drew a cutesy creature with big cute eyes in a cute pose with a cute outfit!
So, what did art teach me when I draw without worries, what comes from my subconscious? That maybe I’ve always wanted to be cute after all, and that I have been what I want to be all this time in the first place. So now to shut up and be happy! 🙂